Welp I Made it Home

Before I say anything else. Pat you were wrong! knowbody wants to here about "pro life". I even asked all ya'll to ask questions, but all I heard back were crickets chirping! I got several fold more views on my whiny blog post about my problems, than I did on the previous one when I opened the floor up to conversation. I interpret this as.... No one wants advice from me (assumptions are that I know nothing), however, people do read my writing to make them feel better about themselves, for not being as much of an idiot as me.... In my current emotional state my response is, fuck it, whatever keeps people coming back... give it two more weeks and I'm sure I'll manage to put a negative twist to it.

Im back in VT! 17 hours of driving and 4 medium dunkin dounuts coffees, 3 venti starbucks coffees, and 1 5 hour energy later I have made it. The new car that I bought is begging for me to put it out of its misery, but that girl aint seen nothin yet... the drive to Tuscon will be a drive time of 2 days and 4 hours!

Luckily I will have Colin('a) to keep me company on the drive. (the ('a) is just for effect because he's a total pansy and I'm going to own him when we get on the bike, but I still love him).

Anyways, I just wanted to say fair well to my Winston friends. Jenna, Joe, Zack, and Jamie, I had a great time visiting with you. I literally spent an entire day playing black ops with Jamie (something like 28.5 hours)! WTF! Riding with my new teammate Chris and old teammate Evan, we have so much to look forward to this season. Sierra your still cool, your pretty non-existent but "it's whatever", as you would say it. Emile I saw you one to many times, but its all good, its better this way. The whole Winston community is so supportive of each other and of me and my awkward lifestyle, you guys are awesome and I will miss you dearly this winter. Sorry I missed the cross race, its probably good that I didnt race anyways because I'm pretty sure I have the plague now.

Alright. Time to go workout in the basement. Its snowing and 18 degrees here, and its been dark for 3 hours. Its all good though because in 2 weeks I will be riding up this!

What do people want to know?

Okay, so it seems like there actually are a couple people who have an interest in what I have to say, so I feel like I should open the door for suggestions about future blog posts.

If there is any questions that you would like to have answered, I would love to take a stab at them. Are you curious about Kenda Pro Cycling's line up for next season? What are my goals for 2011? What to expect on the US pro circuit for 2011? Why am I bi-polar? Why have my panties been all in a bunch for the last week? Or just some general insight from a pro cyclist, just leave a comment on this thread and I will get at it.

Disclaimer! UVM'ers! Please do not exercise the same degree of respect that you have toward your own list serve... interpret that as you will.

Some Pics that I recently stumbled upon.

Future roommate, former lab co-worker Graham drinking dry-ice lab ethanol coffee



Here we see former UVM cyclist Vinnie making an impression of his former girlfriend.... moderately inappropriate, sorry.

What is Best in Life

Not that this video is needed nor fully appreciated now but it was when we were getting hyphy on NOS in our Dallas hotel room, getting ready for Texas Tough. With Cross Nationals today this video is being swapped around like a dirty magazine in a room full of 14 year old boys. Well, I'm that kid who's tearing a page out so that I dont forget about it down the road when I need it to get all hot and bothered before a big race.

* Holly crap that dudes the Governor of Ca

Well I cant get the movie to post so ill just include the link

Video

I going home. home is whenever Im with you!

Oh my god I will never ever forget that song. Last year after the Air Force race weekend Jon Hamlen put that song on repeat for literally 6 hours in what was, to this date, the best van ride ever. Thats pretty much all I can say to describe it but those words sure have a deeper meaning.

Although, literally, I get to go home soon. One more week in this cold, social-lifeless town. I had planned originally to leave on Monday, but after finding out today actually just how bad I am, I've decided to give it another week here before I go home and get fat on beer and cookies.

Yesterday I secured an apartment in Tuscon for the beginning of January. For the first time I am headed out for winter training with two of my best friends, Ben Zawacki and Colin Jazzerwitz (I'm not really sure how to spell his name but he is really fuckin polish). Every year it has been a solo trip, and I am really really really cracked on traveling by myself.

Other than that fact that I am pushing 2% less power at threshold now than I was at the beginning of the year, I feel like things are starting to come together for 2011 to be another year of great successes in cycling for me.

Sadly the things that I do on the bike are only a small fraction of the challenges of living this lifestyle, and right now it seems like all things have gone wrong. Relationships in particular, all the traveling makes it very hard to keep important ones strong, and it makes it impossible to start new ones.

I'm looking forward to the spring because Kenda has provided me with the means to be able to get my own apartment, and I hope that I'm able to go back home to Vermont. Its been way too long.

As so now, I'm in a little emotional rut but life cant stop because of I'm sad. Its definitely time to just sack up and do what I have to do to show I deserve what I've been given.



This fine gem was courtesy of Tim Jackson over at Masi Bicycles! things fast!

Days Get Shorter and Depression Gets Deeper

Im sad Im lonely Im not happy with where I am right now. This blog is my journal, its not cyclingnews and I dont want to rewrite a race report with my sub-par writing skills. I want to use this space to express my emotions about this fucked up life that I'm living. Finally I feel something. I miss my family, I miss my girl. I love my sport. I want to be a doctor someday. I want to fall in love. I want to want something more than I want to be the best in my sport. No one reads my shitty writing. Sometimes I think that I only am doing this sport just because all you assholes said that I'd never amount to anything. Fuck you. Every pedal stroke brings me happiness and anger. I'm addicted. I don't owe anyone shit, no matter how gifted you think I am. This is where I am because of my choices and commitments that I've made. I wish that I wasn't poor. I love bike racing.